gLee is so, so gay.

Being the huge fan of gLee and lesbianism that I am, I’m dying to do some commentary on the whole Brittana scenario from last week’s episode.

I think this episode came out of nowhere, don’t you? I mean, I really didn’t see Brittana’s relationship coming to a head in such an intense way. But I guess that’s how feelings work in real life, isn’t it? They stay dormant for a while, then take over your mind and your whole world changes.

You know, the Landslide sing along confused me, because apparently I’ve incorrectly analyzed that song forever. I assumed that Santana was giving up, because the lyric “take this love and take it down” has always read as “it’s over” to me.

I felt a little defeated when Brittany didn’t jump firmly into Santana’s arms right after her love confession. I mean, I like Artie, he’s freaking hilarious and cute and whatever. But sometimes you just want your team to win, no matter how great the opponent is. So my initial reaction was somewhere along the lines of “This isn’t fair. Why couldn’t the homos just have this one win?!” But then I reminded myself that displaying homosexuality on public television isa win, regardless if the character gets the girl/boy or not, because it’s acknowledging that the feelings, the thoughts, the emotions we have as queers are just as real and legit as non-queers.

Santana admitted that she was scared of what people would say about her behind her back if they knew she was a lesbian. And whoa, do I get that. It is really hard being so open about being gay when you’ve had heterosexual relationships in the past. Especially when you live in a small town, and everyone knows you and your exes. It is hard embracing such a huge lifestyle change. Forget what people say behind your back, try handling the things they say to your face! Their questions. Their opinions. Their philosophies on your gayness and if it’s “real” or not. It’s really tiring.

Then I read the Autostraddle recap of the episode and I share so many mutual feelings with the writer, who compared realizing that you’re gay  to standing in front of a door and trying to figure out if you’re going to walk through that door or not. Who and/or what is blocking that door? And are you going to run through it quickly or tiptoe your way through? She also wrote something else that hit pretty hard:

We owe this prevalance (of gay youths’ struggles on television), I think, to what happened in September and October. We had to die for them to realize our stories needed to be told (by someone besides Ilene Chaiken). ‘Cause we all deserve our ownYoung Nelson. There have never been more teenaged characters struggling with their sexuality on television than there are right now…We have voices now. We had to die first. To make it politically incorrect for anyone to vehemently protest seeing gay kids on TV. Because how can you do that, when they’re being bullied like that, when it’s killing them. Just let Santana and Brittany make out, you know?

I’m so tired of heartbreak having to ensue just so that eyes can be opened.

Aren’t you?

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