Jewel sang a song about them, I’m writing a post about them.

Hands are on my mind today. I think it started this morning, when my girlfriend was checking out my chipped nail polish and rubbed the tips of her fingers against my nails and said “you need to trim these” with a look of concern in her eyes.

She examines my nails on the reg, and with good reason. Have you guys read the article that Krista from Effing Dykes wrote about nail hygiene and finger-fucking?!! It’ll make you want to use finger condoms for a good month, maybe longer.

Do you pay close attention to hands? Maybe you should if you don’t. Hands are more than a sex instrument! They can  tell you SO MUCH about a person. C’mon, everylez knows that short nails is one of the top three things you look for when playing the “is she/isn’t she” game.

Remember that time on The L Word (season 1, episode 1, at Bette and Tina’s party/attempt to find a suitable man to donate sperm for their baby-making…GOD I WATCH THAT SHOW TOO MUCH) when someone said “if your ring finger is longer than your pointer finger, it means you’re a homo.” ?

I think this was one of the first five signs that led me to come out…because I watched this episode as a curious straight girl and noticed that my ring finger is, indeed, longer than my pointer finger. YAY! For the record, that wasn’t just script-filler. There have been studies on this shit, Wikipedia told me so.

Y’all, someone told me today that they always use their middle and ring fingers to…you know…get it on. And I was like “no way!” because if I’m gonna use only two, it’s always my middle and pointer fingers. Is this TMI? Well, I don’t really care. We all have sex right? So, anyway, back to that…do you always use the same fingers? Do you change it up on the reg? I tried to simulate using my middle and ring fingers and, well, it’s going to take some practice.

Someone once told me that the best way to tell a person’s age is by looking at their hands because hands are the one part of the body that age truthfully, no matter how well you take care of them. From my real life experience, I’ve actually noticed this to be true. Pay attention to the next Cougar you meet…

Ok, I’m tired, so I’m gonna bring this to a close with a sweet quotation by someone named Alexander Penney(who he is, I’m not sure…): 






“The ultimate test of a relationship is to disagree but hold hands.”

(Awww shit….I love when girls hold hands. It’s so sweeeeet!!)




2 thoughts on “Jewel sang a song about them, I’m writing a post about them.

  1. Have you ever read the prose piece Dyke Hands by SDiane Bogus?? Soooo erotic… powerful.

    Thanks for an entire post on dyke hands!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s