At the beginning of this summer, I set a goal to day-trip to the beaches of Mississippi at least four times. The first time was to Bay St. Louis and it wasn’t that amazing because the beach was really close to the highway (not serene) and the water was kind of gross but I had sex on the beach for the first time (not the drink, like, actual sex!) and that made up for everything.
The second time was to Gulfport and that was much nicer. We rented a jet ski, which was another first for me, and there was a red tide that day so all these crazy sea creatures crept up to shore and we played with them (well, we poked them with sticks and threw sand at them).
The third time was yesterday, and we went to Ship Island. It was already going to be a kick-ass trip because it was our 2 year anniversary, but Ship Island is DA BOMB. It’s so pretty. From what I’ve seen, it is the best that the east side of the gulf coast has to offer.
By 4pm we were toast… as in both tired and burnt. We brought our towels to this shady spot that the lifeguard tower was creating and started taking selfies when the lifeguard said, “y’all can come take pictures from up here if you want a better view.”
What a line. Am I the only person who reads an invite like that as an attempt to holla? Here’s this hunky, blond, tan, lifeguard dude looking down at these two cute, tattooed, pierced, might be best friends, might be lesbians-but either way it’s gonna be awesome-girls. I mean, the first thing he said was “where are you guys from? you look too cool to be from Mississippi” and though that is true, it’s a line, am I right?
Atop the glamorous lifeguard deck (ha) we did the whole get-to-know-you thing, blah blah blah and I’m thinking, when do we get to tell him we’re gay and we don’t want to hook up with him…
when this girl walks up to the stand and frowns up at him and yells, “I can’t believe you invited them up there!” And I was getting ready to out us and be like, “no girl, it’s not like that” but then she said, “I wanted to talk to them first! They were supposed to be my friends!” and starts climbing the stairs, smiling at us.
See how fucking cute we are together? We just radiate love and awesomeness. They had been watching us all day and talking about how they wanted to befriend us! Meow!
We continued to make friends with these two, who are engaged BTW, then decided to go down to the ocean and play in the water. The girl hurries after us and says “I wanted to come talk to you when I saw you earlier in the day but I didn’t want to be a weird intruder and I fell asleep anyway and I can’t believe my fiancé got to talk to you first and… and…”
Right as I’m having this celebrity moment (like, srsly, how many times do ppl approach you and say they’ve wanted to be your friend since the minute they saw you?), she says…
“you guys have been together 2 years? That’s so cool. I just had to ask. I mean, I’m engaged, but I’ve always been curious. Like, I’ve kissed girls before, a couple of girls, and I like it, I just never met a girl that I was like, in love with. And now I’m engaged, and it’s like, agh! He’s told me that he’s okay with me hooking up with girls and everything, but like, I’m scared about it because the person I was dating before him….I was in a really long term relationship with this guy…and he broke up with me because I kissed another girl. And I know that my fiancé is different from him, like he really would be okay with me hooking up with another girl….”
And just unloads all of this suppressed lesbianism on us. Wide-eyed and straight-faced. Not in that annoying “I’m curious but I could never do it” kind of way, but in that “I’m curious and now I’m fucking up my chance” kind of way. I can’t even imagine being stuck in that place. The anxiety she must feel, MY GOD! The desperation. Was she asking for advice?
We get on a different subject, then her fiancé walks over, and we exchange numbers because they will be in New Orleans tomorrow and they want to hang out….
As we are leaving the beach, we look at each other like, “fuck. they want to have a threesome don’t they?”
And I woke up this morning to a text from them saying “hey, we’re still planning to be in New Orleans all day tomorrow!”