I’m over my girlfriend’s ex-girlfriend.

My girlfriend once told me that she likes to pretend that I’ve never dated anyone before her…that she is my first everything. Which is really cute and sweet and probably easy to do because pretty much all of my exes live in different states now.

But I can’t do that with her because her ex lives here and is every.where.i.go.

We have a class together this semester and she’s always early and she always sits in the front row so that no matter where I sit I’m always forced to sit behind her.
And see her profile every time she turns to the side to dig through her booksack. 
And notice her hair every time she fixes it or plays with it, which happens a lot.
And hear her voice every time she makes a comment or asks a question, which also happens a lot.
The profile that my girlfriend used to wake up to.
The hair that my girlfriend used to run her fingers through.
The voice that used to tell my girlfriend “I love you.”

UGH. It drives me fucking nuts.

 

 

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Hurricane Isaac turned my house into a Dyke Den…

Two inter-racial, lesbian couples. The four of us took over the kitchen baking brownies, making pizza and pastalaya, playing Scattergories and Taboo and giving ourselves homo-centric team names. The conversations that my grandparents must have overheard…OMG. My grandpa walked in and said “Look at this room full of…” and changed the subject. We all knew he wanted to end that sentence with “lesbians”.

Just looking at Adorable Lesbian Couples and wondering how so many of these girls get into long distance relationships (LDRs, as they frequently call them)? I could barely meet girls I hit it off with in my own city when I was single, how are they finding them hundreds of miles away?!

But more puzzling is how they handle being so far away from each other all the time. Over the past year, 8 consecutive days has been the longest my gf and I have spent apart from each other, and by day 4 I felt like an emphysemic away from my oxygen tank when I went to sleep at night without her.

I feel like this is a thing among lesbians. (and surely there are hetero couples who feel it too, but in my experience, they’re few and far between. They seem to relish their time away from their partners.) Even if you think you need space away from each other (you know, to feel autonomous or whatever) when you are granted that space, you drive yourself crazy wondering if your girlfriend is enjoying her space or missing you as much as you miss her. Oh the fuckery!

I guess it’s one of the many situations my has-bian friends have in mind when they say “lesbian relationships are just too emotional for me.”

Rebound

 MJ Corey is my favorite lesbian friend in NYC.She writes this amazing blog and has had her fair share of embarrassing and heartbreaking yet hilarious lesbian escapades in NYC. She has written short stories of said escapades which have been published all around the interwebs. She has read these stories in front of audiences. She has been brave enough to continue to show her face in the most infamous gay bars of NYC after airing her dirty laundry, and is therefore one of my heroes. One of her short stories will be adapted into a short film named “Rebound” and we need to help her fund it! 

Go to this here KickStarter page and donate what you can to make sure this independent, queer, “tragicomic” short film gets funded appropriately for production and be a part of something that could shape lesbian herstory.

xoxo

I came out today….all over again.

Happy Sunday y’all. Here’s a funny story:

Not 10 minutes after walking into the LSU Union for BR PRIDE fest yesterday, I was approached by someone from the Advocate and asked for a quick interview. The results of which you can find in today’s issue of the Advocate, in the South Louisiana section, in an article titled “Finding Acceptance at Pride Fest”.

Or just click here.

I woke up this morning to the lovely voice of my little grandmother (the one I live with, who I never came out to) asking me about my plans for the day, telling me about hers, then giving me a hug and saying “I read your article in the paper. From Pride. About you coming out three years ago. I’ve always known babygirl. Mawmaws have a sixth sense about that sort of thing.” to which I responded “Aw, and you still love me?” And she very sweetly  said “OF COURSE” then told me to have a good day and started talking to her dog.

Like, NBD.
I just accidentally came out to my grandma and she didn’t even care.
She didn’t want an explanation or have any questions.
She wasn’t even mad that I hadn’t straight out told her before.

My mom called me a couple hours later and told me that the two of them had spoken on the phone about me and the article and my grandma said the most amazing thing a girl could ever ask her family to say:
“I’m sure some of my older friends will read the article and think or say ugly things. But I don’t give a shit. We’re just people being people over here. They all have skeletons in their family closets that they won’t talk about, at least we’re being honest about ours.”

TEARS Y’ALL, GIANT TEARS FELL FROM MY FACE AS MY MOM TOLD ME THAT.

I wish I would hear more stories of kids coming out to their families without a lot of heartbreak and disappointment.

ANYWAY, LET’S TALK ABOUT PRIDE FEST!

I know I said in a previous post that the festival was just okay, but it was pretty fun this year. In general, I feel the crowd was a lot younger this year than last year, and more lively. To sum it up in a few words: there are more companies than you think in BR who have your (gay) rights in mind, there are more churches than you realize in BR who will accept you into their congregation, there are more gay girls in this city than you realize (they just don’t go out all the time), my relationship is now blessed, and drag queens love my girlfriend.

And as far as the article goes, I would just like to point out that it is awkwardly written and my words got a little twisted but I definitely did say “these are my people…they get me” and I’m proud of that.

Also, if you read the article online and look through the pictures, there are TWO GIRLS photographed who (obviously) identify as lesbians WHO WENT TO MY HIGH SCHOOL which further proves my theory that the former Bishop Sullivan, now known as St. Michael’s, is a breeding ground for lezzers. 

We’re taking steps, y’all.

Dear Baton Rouge,
I AM SO VERY PROUD OF YOU for gracing the cover of one of your local magazines with something so very gay.
xoxo,
me. 

Have y’all seen this week’s DIG magazine yet? They are all about PRIDE. It’s their cover story! Read it. 

I take this as a victory, because not only is this a cover story about something gay, but it’s shining a good light on gayness, as opposed to criticizing it. WIN!

 

Rules of Breaking Up Part 2

There is a large possibility that once you have:

  •  finally come to terms with the fact that you and your lover are no more…
  • declared the end of your relationship to all your friends, family, co-workers, blog readers, etc…
  • begun destroying/hiding everything that could and would remind you of your “ex”…

The two of you will realize that you made a mistake and you will get back together. You will talk for hours/days about what you each did wrong. You will promise to try to never do those things again. You will work out a plan of action for the next time you encounter a difficult situation. You will realize that girls are indeed sort of crazy at least once a month and that maybe sometimes instead of breaking up, you should just leave each other alone for a day or two or three. Also, you will realize that you shouldn’t believe that you’re really broken up until an entire week — 7 whole days– has gone by because girls are really indecisive.

She will send you an email with this video  saying “Look! I found us in kitten form! You’re the sleepy one…” and it will make you feel warm and giggly inside, but you will feel silly for writing an entire blog post on how to be broken up. You will consider deleting said “break up” post (especially when your once ex- now current girlfriend comments “dislike” on it) but remember that maybe it will help someone else (or, heaven forbid, yourself again) in the future.

 

Aside

 Baton Rouge Pride Fest is this Saturday! I went last year and I gotta admit, I thought it was just okay. It’s not a hoot, it’s not a riot. It’s very calm and contained and nice. It’s missing that party factor that other city’s pride fests have, which I think is the biggest draw for homos my age (20s).  But let me stop complaining and be grateful that we have something in this city that’s celebrating homosexuality.

My friends at Noelie Harmon have given me a really big reason to be excited about the BR Pride fest though. They decorated a few pairs of TOMS shoes with homo-friendly designs and – lucky me! – gave me a pair and asked me to sport them on Saturday! Image

In other news,

I’m reallly considering switching from WordPress to Tumblr so that I can easily re-post brilliant things I find there, such as this quotation via this girl that I’m kinda obsessed with that I don’t even know but I love her mind:

“ASK YOURSELF WHAT YOU ARE WORRIED ABOUT IF SAME-SEX MARRIAGE IS LEGALIZED. WHATEVER YOUR ANSWER IS, ASK YOURSELF IF YOU REALLY BELIEVE WHAT YOU JUST CAME UP WITH. HOMOSEXUALITY IS NOT GOING TO SPREAD. IT IS NOT COMMUNICABLE. SOCIETY IS NOT GOING TO TURN INTO A LADY GAGA VIDEO. MOST GAY COUPLES I KNOW ARE JUST AS BORING AS YOU AND I. THEY SIT ON THE COUCH AND WATCH TELEVISION. THEY WORK AT THE POST OFFICE, THE HOSPITAL, THE GROCERY STORE, AND AT REAL ESTATE AGENCIES, JUST LIKE HETEROSEXUALS DO. THEY EAT OUT AT RESTAURANTS AND SHOP AT TARGET. MANY HAVE POT BELLIES AND DON’T HAVE MUCH FASHION SENSE, JUST LIKE ME. THEY OWN PETS, AND GO TO CHURCH. THEY VOLUNTEER, SING CHRISTMAS CAROLS, AND BUY GIRL SCOUT COOKIES. WHAT ARE YOU AFRAID OF? WHAT IS GOING TO CHANGE BY ALLOWING THESE PEOPLE TO COMMIT TO ONE ANOTHER AND ENJOY THE BENEFITS THAT YOU AND I ENJOY: TAX BREAKS, INSURANCE BREAKS, BEREAVEMENT LEAVE, MEDICAL LEAVE TO CARE FOR A SICK PARTNER, DOMESTIC VIOLENCE PROTECTION, VISITATION OF PARTNER IN THE HOSPITAL, BURIAL DETERMINATION, MEDICAL DECISIONS ON BEHALF OF PARTNER. REALLY SEXY STUFF. YOU AND I TAKE THESE THINGS FOR GRANTED. NOBODY WANTS TO GO THROUGH LIFE NOT KNOWING HOW THEY WILL DEAL WITH SOME OF THESE DIFFICULT MOMENTS IN LIFE. IMAGINE IF YOU WERE DENIED ANY OF THE ABOVE RIGHTS WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR YOU AND YOUR SPOUSE TO EXERCISE THAT RIGHT? I’LL TELL YOU WHAT IT WOULD FEEL LIKE. IT WOULD FEEL LIKE YOU WERE A SECOND-CLASS CITIZEN.”—

Why A Heterosexual, Married, North Carolinian Father Of Three Cares About LGBT Equality (via hyperbeam)

Time for Pride!